Hey there, fellow office ninjas
Today at The Casual Workweek, we're delving into the subtle art of passive-aggressive office communication. Because let's face it, sometimes a strongly worded email just won't cut it. When you're dealing with a repeat offender in the break room or a notorious stapler thief, it's time to unleash the power of the passive-aggressive note.
A Gallery of Passive-Aggression
Let's start with some inspiration, shall we? Here are a few gems we've gathered from the hallowed halls of office kitchens and supply closets:
On the communal Keurig: "To the person who consistently leaves coffee grounds and milk splatters all over the Keurig: May your pods forever be decaf."
Taped to the microwave: "Please clean up your exploded food. Sincerely, Everyone Else Who Has to Use This Microwave"
Attached to a lone, sad stapler: "Stapler thief: Karma is a boomerang. (P.S. I know who you are.)"
Crafting the Perfect Passive-Aggressive Note
Now, let's get down to business. Here are some tips for crafting a note that will get your message across without (directly) naming names:
Vague threats: "Mysterious things seem to happen to people who don't wash their dishes..."
Over-the-top politeness: "Dearest coworker, would you be ever so kind as to refrain from microwaving fish in the shared kitchen? Your olfactory generosity is overwhelming. With deepest gratitude, Your Fellow Humans"
The "concerned citizen" approach: "To the individual who keeps leaving their dirty dishes in the sink: Are you aware that bacteria can thrive in such an environment? Just a friendly reminder from your local health enthusiast."
Decoding the Passive-Aggressive Note
Of course, sometimes you're on the receiving end of these cryptic messages. Here's how to decipher the hidden meaning:
Excessive exclamation points: "Please remember to refill the paper tray!!!!" (Translation: "I'm seriously annoyed that I had to refill the paper tray AGAIN.")
Unnecessary capitalization: "PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR PERSONAL BELONGINGS IN THE SHARED REFRIGERATOR." (Translation: "I'm about to throw your moldy leftovers in the trash.")
Cutesy fonts and clipart: A note decorated with kittens and rainbows that says, "Remember to clean up after yourself!" (Translation: "I'm seething with rage, but I'm going to channel it through adorable imagery.")
That's all for today’s edition of The Casual Workweek!
Stay casual (and passive-aggressive),
The Casual Work Week
P.S. Have you encountered any legendary passive-aggressive notes in your own office? Share them with us! We might just feature them in our next Hall of Fame.